Motherhood and More

So tomorrrow I will be at week 23. I can't believe how fast time has flown by. I can't wait to meet my two little girls! It's so funny that when I was little, I used to imagine having twin girls. I loved playing with dolls and being a "mommy" to them, and thinking about having real babies of my own someday. Of course you never really know the amount of responsibility it takes to be one until you are. It's tough, but so rewarding too! I love being a mother, it is an amazing journey. Like all of life, it comes with it's ups and downs, but I wouldn't trade this experience for anything. God definitely uses motherhood to grow us. It shows us our deep need for him. Like an infant that can not live without the love and care of it's mother/father, we have a deep need for our Heavenly Father. We are so infant like at times too. Demanding everything and giving "poop" back in return. We don't deserve anything, and yet our loving Father has given us everything! Grace is amazing. :)

 My mom told me when I was a little girl, they asked me if I wanted to have a little sister/brother. I of course said "YES"! When they brought my little sister, Bethany, home from the hospital, I was mad that my mom wouldn't let me hold her right away. I even have a picture of my mom when she got home from the hospital with Bethany and me at her side frowning beacause I wasn't holding her, Mom was. Mom often say's, "I thought, will the real mother please stand up?!" haha. I loved being a big sister, and pretending to be a mother to Bethany. She was the first "real live doll" I had gotten to hold and play with. I loved it. I think from then on out, I played and dreamed of being a Mom someday. I of course especially dreamed of having a little girl. Now God has blessed me twice over in that hope.

The day that I went in for my second ultrasound to see the "baby" at 9 weeks, I was sitting in the waiting room thinking about the baby. A random thought popped into my head, "what if they tell me I am going to have twins?" I can't even begin to imagine why I would think that myself. I wanted twins when I was younger but as I got older, I knew how much work that would be, I thought otherwise. So for some reason, I couldn't get it out of my head that they might tell me I was having twins. I think it was all God, preparing me for the surprising news that was about to be sprung on me. I went into the room where the ultrasound machine was and the nurse practitioner that did the ulrasound said she might have to call the doctor if she couldn't get a good pic of the baby. I waited patiently and excitedly as she watched the image on the screen. I could not see a thing at this time. The NP said she wanted to get the doctor to make sure of something. I had no clue as to what was going on, hoping they could get a good pic of the little peanut so I could show daddy. When the doctor came in the room with a few other people my interest was peaked. "Why were there so many people all of a sudden coming into the room?"  I wondered if something might be wrong. The doctor looked at the picture on the ultrasound machine for a minute and then smiled at me and said, "Karyn, you are going to have twins!" I started laughing and asked if she was serious. I couldn't stop smiling. I was so shocked and excited. She showed me the picture on the screen of the two little peanuts side by side. I was amazed!

                      

This was their first ultrasound pic at 9 weeks.

I could barely contain my excitement as I rushed to pick up my son from my sister in law's house. She was the first person I told. Alan was at school that day and I didn't want to tell him over the phone. Heidi (sister in law) and I plotted and planned a way to tell Alan. Heidi gave me some idea's of doing two of the same things for dinner or giving him two bottles or two booties. I went to the store and bought a pair of bibs to surprise him with. When he came home from school that day, he saw the present and later told me that he thought to himself, "we are having twins". Wow, how God prepares the heart!! It's amazing! So he opened the bag and took out the two bibs and said, "We're having twins!?" He couldn't stop smiling either. We then proceeded to call/text family members about the exciting news. As the news really started to settle with us, we talked about how crazy it would be, but how blessed we were feeling too. There was nothing "WE" did to cause this amazing thing to occur. It was ALL God. I was surprised at some peoples reaction to the news. Some were so shocked and could barely say anything at all. Some wondered at how we could manage two. Like we had any say in having two at once. That was God's perfect plan, nothing we did or could have done. And if God decided to give us two at once, I know that HE WILL PROVIDE for us and this growing family. God never gives us anything he knows we can not handle, so obviously, the Lord knows we can handle this with His help. :) I thank him each and everyday for these precious little miracles growing inside of me. What a wonderul Savior we have in Jesus! I pray each and every one of you would know the deep and satisfying love of Christ that is offered so freely. Wanting to be filled more fully with Him....

Karyn