Motherhood and More

So tomorrrow I will be at week 23. I can't believe how fast time has flown by. I can't wait to meet my two little girls! It's so funny that when I was little, I used to imagine having twin girls. I loved playing with dolls and being a "mommy" to them, and thinking about having real babies of my own someday. Of course you never really know the amount of responsibility it takes to be one until you are. It's tough, but so rewarding too! I love being a mother, it is an amazing journey. Like all of life, it comes with it's ups and downs, but I wouldn't trade this experience for anything. God definitely uses motherhood to grow us. It shows us our deep need for him. Like an infant that can not live without the love and care of it's mother/father, we have a deep need for our Heavenly Father. We are so infant like at times too. Demanding everything and giving "poop" back in return. We don't deserve anything, and yet our loving Father has given us everything! Grace is amazing. :)

 My mom told me when I was a little girl, they asked me if I wanted to have a little sister/brother. I of course said "YES"! When they brought my little sister, Bethany, home from the hospital, I was mad that my mom wouldn't let me hold her right away. I even have a picture of my mom when she got home from the hospital with Bethany and me at her side frowning beacause I wasn't holding her, Mom was. Mom often say's, "I thought, will the real mother please stand up?!" haha. I loved being a big sister, and pretending to be a mother to Bethany. She was the first "real live doll" I had gotten to hold and play with. I loved it. I think from then on out, I played and dreamed of being a Mom someday. I of course especially dreamed of having a little girl. Now God has blessed me twice over in that hope.

The day that I went in for my second ultrasound to see the "baby" at 9 weeks, I was sitting in the waiting room thinking about the baby. A random thought popped into my head, "what if they tell me I am going to have twins?" I can't even begin to imagine why I would think that myself. I wanted twins when I was younger but as I got older, I knew how much work that would be, I thought otherwise. So for some reason, I couldn't get it out of my head that they might tell me I was having twins. I think it was all God, preparing me for the surprising news that was about to be sprung on me. I went into the room where the ultrasound machine was and the nurse practitioner that did the ulrasound said she might have to call the doctor if she couldn't get a good pic of the baby. I waited patiently and excitedly as she watched the image on the screen. I could not see a thing at this time. The NP said she wanted to get the doctor to make sure of something. I had no clue as to what was going on, hoping they could get a good pic of the little peanut so I could show daddy. When the doctor came in the room with a few other people my interest was peaked. "Why were there so many people all of a sudden coming into the room?"  I wondered if something might be wrong. The doctor looked at the picture on the ultrasound machine for a minute and then smiled at me and said, "Karyn, you are going to have twins!" I started laughing and asked if she was serious. I couldn't stop smiling. I was so shocked and excited. She showed me the picture on the screen of the two little peanuts side by side. I was amazed!

                      

This was their first ultrasound pic at 9 weeks.

I could barely contain my excitement as I rushed to pick up my son from my sister in law's house. She was the first person I told. Alan was at school that day and I didn't want to tell him over the phone. Heidi (sister in law) and I plotted and planned a way to tell Alan. Heidi gave me some idea's of doing two of the same things for dinner or giving him two bottles or two booties. I went to the store and bought a pair of bibs to surprise him with. When he came home from school that day, he saw the present and later told me that he thought to himself, "we are having twins". Wow, how God prepares the heart!! It's amazing! So he opened the bag and took out the two bibs and said, "We're having twins!?" He couldn't stop smiling either. We then proceeded to call/text family members about the exciting news. As the news really started to settle with us, we talked about how crazy it would be, but how blessed we were feeling too. There was nothing "WE" did to cause this amazing thing to occur. It was ALL God. I was surprised at some peoples reaction to the news. Some were so shocked and could barely say anything at all. Some wondered at how we could manage two. Like we had any say in having two at once. That was God's perfect plan, nothing we did or could have done. And if God decided to give us two at once, I know that HE WILL PROVIDE for us and this growing family. God never gives us anything he knows we can not handle, so obviously, the Lord knows we can handle this with His help. :) I thank him each and everyday for these precious little miracles growing inside of me. What a wonderul Savior we have in Jesus! I pray each and every one of you would know the deep and satisfying love of Christ that is offered so freely. Wanting to be filled more fully with Him....

Karyn

Week 20: Clarie & Chloe



Baby Claire


My two sweet baby girls! What miracles they both are! 

Baby Chloe



These ultrasounds were taking at week 20. I am so thankful to tell you all that these precious little ones are doing amazingly.  This is an explanation from Wikipedia on the type of Twin's Chloe and Claire are:

 "Monochorionic twins share the same placenta.

Monochorionic twins generally have two amniotic sacs (called Monochorionic-Diamniotic "MoDi"), which occurs in 60–70% of the pregnancies with monozygotic twins.^{[31]  "}

"my frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body." Psalm 139:15-16



"Monozygotic twins who share a placenta can develop twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome. This condition means that blood from one twin is being diverted into the other twin. One twin, the 'donor' twin, is small and anemic, the other, the 'recipient' twin, is large and polycythemic. The lives of both twins are endangered by this condition." [ Taken from Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia on twins]

So as you read, there can be some complications with Chloe and Claire sharing a placenta, but so far there has been no sign of Twin to Twin transfusion syndrome. Praising God for that! I get so nervous when I go in to see the specialist for my ultrasounds. But God has been faithful and proves my fears wrong each and every time. He is in control over those little ones and He is taking care of them. :)  It is such a mircale every time I see them on the big screen, both of them moving around like crazy. At times it looks like they are even sucking on their fingers. I can't believe all the tiny little things that have to grow perfectly for them to live and move and breathe.

 " You hem me in behind and before, you lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain." Psalm 139: 5-6

Faith in Action

Hi all!
So it's been a few days since I last posted. I last talked about our recent teaching series we have been doing at our church, "Trusting in Troubled Times". Well this last week, on Thursday to be precise, Alan and I had a chance to put our Faith into action. Alan has long school days on Tuesdays and Thursdays and doesn't get home from school until 10pm or later. It has been stressful for him, but he is doing great in his classes and pushing through. Well on Thursday of this last week, on his way home from his night class, he got into a minor accident. I say minor b/c he was not hurt and it did not involve another car. He was driving on the 303, and for those of you that have never been on the 303 there are no lights, when he came upon something in the road. He didn't have time to even swerve and if he did, he would have ended up in the ditch on the side of the road. Whatever the thing was in the road, most likely fell off of a construction truck or such, hit hard underneath our car and it instantly started making a noise. Alan got home and safely, but the car was still making a weird noise. He was so stressed and frustrated at this point about something being wrong with our newer 09 nissan sentra. We have already been pinching our pennies (and have saved over 800 dollars) for our move/rent/and things we need for the girls. I tried to be as encouraging as possible, telling him God would work it all out and even though it stank, we would get through this. I was praying that the damage wouldn't be too expensive. I was thinking around 100 bucks or so, maybe a loose shield or something. I knew that night that God would take care of us and see us through it. But the next morning when we took it to the shop and they called us and told us what had happened, my worry got the best of me. They told us that whatever Alan had hit was sturdy and had bent the crossbars underneath the frame of our car, even pushing up the frame of the middle part of the car. UGH. A $1,500 plus fix. Thank the Lord for insurance and that our deductable wasn't higher b/c we only have to pay $500 of it. But it was a blow to both of us, having to spend even $500 after we have been so carefully saving and planning. I was getting anxious about it all. I had a hard time swallowing that number and letting it go. To know that God still has us in His hands, that we are taken care of, to trust Him. It was hard to do. But God IS faithful! He has been reminding me so today of His concern for us, His deep Love for us! That we are not forgotten, that he knows our name. The creator of all the universe cares for me! He loves me, despite my wandering self. What a God we serve! So now, even knowing we have to pay $500, I am not worried. Yes, it stinks, but God is sovereign and He is good!

I am also so looking forward to a new study we will be doing in my Ladies bible study (Radiance) over Acts. I have read the first chapter in the study booklet and re reading acts right now. It is so encouraging to hear about all that the Lord was doing through the work of the Holy spirit and the Church. "Those who accepted his message were babtized, and about three thousand were added to their number that day. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved." Acts 2:41, 47

Troubles? Lets live by FAITH!

Over the last couple of weeks, our Pastor at my church has been talking on Habakkuk and "Trusting in Troubled Times". It has been greatly convicting and so full of truth directly from God's word. I love how our Pastor uses scripture to back up more scripture, it speaks to my heart even more so! God definitely knew that Alan and I needed to hear this teaching series, it completely applies to everything we have been feeling as of late. Habakkuk was a prophet who "bodly and confidently took his complaints directly to God. Troubled by what he observed, he asked difficult questions. And God answered with an avalanche of proof and prediction." [NIV life application study bible] 

I have loved this study! One of the many things that spoke to me was this from our sermon notes studying Habakkuk 1:5-11; God is perfect in Love, Infinite in Wisdom, and Completely Sovereign! He is doing a work, and it will not always make sense to us. It may confuse us and bewilder our puny human minds compaired to God's complete All Knowing. He is God, we are not! Worry is assumed all knowing, we worry because we want to be in control and we think we know what is best for us, but WE DONT! I am a control freak, I admit it. I hate when things dont go the way I planned, or when the house is out of order, or when my son isn't behaving the way I think he should (mind he is only 18 months old). This is something I must work on, to TRUST that God has my best interests at heart, even if that means going through hard times. He will do whatever it takes to get me closer to Him! Isn't that amazing? The King of Kings, my Lord, wants to draw me closer to Him to have a personal relationship with Him! He longs for me to be closer to Him, to be near Him. How truly wonderful that is. :) He loves us that much that he would take us through valleys to draw us unto Him. As my Pastor has said the last couple of Sundays, "There is something worse than dissapointment with God and that is dissapointment without Him!" Can you even imagine going through life and all of it's hardships with out our loving Father? I can not! He is our rock in troubled times, our refuge during the storm, our comfort who comforts us in times of trouble that we may share with others in the comfort we ourselves have received. Following Christ doesn't mean He will make life better for us, that all of our problems with vanish with a "POOF" but we follow Him because He is and always will be BETTER thand LIFE! I must say that the times I have really seen myself grow in my walk with Christ was through the hard times. Cling to God, have faith that he will pull you through any and every situation, and know that He will never leave you or forsake you. What a God we serve!

God bless you all! :)

"but the righteous will live by faith" Habakkuk 2:4

Big life changes!

Where to start... Well my life is about to get a whole lot busier this summer! My husband and I are moving in May back into apartments, but much closer to everything ie: church, friends, work. We are excited about moving, and moving on with our family. For almost the last year we have been taking care of my elderly Grandmother with Alzheimer's disease. It has been a huge blessing and challenge. It first of all has helped us get Alan through school without having to work full time as well. Such a blessing! He has been working so hard for his family to get done with school. He will finish his degree in computer networking this summer. It has been a long time coming after moving so much and switching his major from nursing to the IT field. It is amazing to me how he is doing so well and yet all of his IT text books look like they are written in a secret coded language. He get's a kick out of asking me to try and read them. He loves to make fun of his wife and how she can't read IT text books. haha. My brain was not made to function well with anything computer-ish. I hate computers actually. lol.

 So back to the main point...hehe. My Grandma is moving out in May to go to a care facility and we will be moving out as well. Another HUGE life change will be the welcoming of two identical twin girls to our growing family in July! little Miss Claire and Chloe Whittemore. We are thrilled, but also a little nervous about all things twin. How are we going to do it you might wonder (and as I have wondered occasionally as well)? Totoally relying on God and family to get us through those first couple of months. I have heard those will be the most challenging. I can only imagine, as with my son Boaz(now 18 months old) who needed mommy and her milk supply so frequently. I often felt like a cow, now add TWO into that mix! Oh Boy, or Girls I might say. But I know that every tiny finger(there will be 20 of them), every little coo and smile will make up for all the challenging times. And not to mention the miracle of it all, me having twins without the help of fertility drugs or due to my age or genetic history. All God's handiwork right there.  He just amazes me more and more! I read that identical twinning is NOT based off of the maternal age or genetic history or anything like that. It is a medical mystery why the egg splits. When I read that I got goosebumps. It's all God and his infinite wisdom. The creator of life. He decided to give me two! Just simply amazing to me. As I am typing this, I feel them both fluttering all around in there. How can someone study reproduction or be pregnant and NOT think there is a God?! There are so many tiny little things that have to happen just right at the right time for everything to function correctly. Studying up on twins has opened up my eyes even more to how awesome our Creator is. I'd like to end by posting a couple verses from one of my favorite hymn's.

"How deep the Father's love for us, how vast beyond all measure, that He should give His only Son to make a wretch his treasure. Behold the man upon a cross, my sin upon his shoulders, ashamed I hear my mocking voice call out among the scoffers. It was my sin that held him there, until it was accomplished. His dying breath has brought me LIFE I know that it is finished! I will not boast in anything, no gifts no power no wisdom, but I will boast in Jesus Christ, His death and Ressurection!" AMEN!!! :) God bless you all. Remember, we are saved by his GRACE that was freely given upon the Cross. I am slowly beginnning to truly understand the meaning of Grace.